Into the Woods
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I have always known that my older brother Gerald was someone that I would never be able to live up to. His shadow cast so wide an area that I became a landmark for its edges, in short, it swallowed my existence whole, like a hunter devouring its prey without regard to the life it consumed.
One day he had invited me to go for a drive in the nearby woods; Gerald insisted on bringing rifles so that if by chance any tracks were spotted along the way, we would not waste time collecting the rifles. I couldn’t help but notice for the first time, Gerald was a complete stranger to me, hiding his true self away from not just me but the collective world, the same way a setting sun retires behind a mountain range, and yet this sun would never truly set it would just rest behind the mountains for eternity.
The wind tussled our hair through the truck windows but was turned off by the truck’s abrupt stop. “There, do you see them? Deer, a male, and a female. Get out, grab the rifles.” I did as I was told. We followed the tracks towards a small gulley dried earlier in the year but would flow freely for a few weeks before freezing completely in the winter. It was dry now and we crossed with ease, Gerald first, then he turned around and offered his hand with precision as if by practice, I took the hand and kicked my feet hard into the rock beneath the incline and pulling myself by the weight of the person above me. We followed the tracks for what I knew could not have been over an hour but as we climbed deeper into the woods time began to blur and I felt like I had been following these tracks since I was born.
The footprints eventually stopped just before a clearing in the distance, the pathway had been worn down by use and laid flat for our entry as if a carpet had been laid for the grand entrance of someone socially significant. Both sides supported walls and columns of vibrant fauna, some of which I had never before seen in the woods nearby, which had been the scene of my outdoors childhood. We entered the path matching pace, but soon the pathway progressed into a hallway of sorts, it gradually sported a canopy of vines that blocked out more sunlight as we went, and all the while the clearing in the distance seemed all the more, distant…
The moment I realized that the hallway was beginning to narrow I quickly broke rank, sped up and assumed the lead, forcing Gerald to walk behind me, following in my shadow for once. Minutes later the walls closely hugged our shoulders and we had to carry the rifles held towards our chests with our elbows to our sides.
My vision was playing tricks on me, it was not possible that the clearing would still be so far away, the canopy overhead was so thick now that it completely blocked out all sunlight from above, our only source of light came from the end of this narrow hallway, now more appropriate to call a tunnel for I was no longer sure that we were above ground.
The sound of Gerald’s footsteps had been a constant in the tunnel, following closely behind letting me know that he was only a few feet behind. The sounds of his leather boots crushing the dried leaves underneath reminded me of branches crackling in a fire, consumed by an intensity it would never recover from, I enjoyed hearing it and felt at ease knowing I was not alone.
Proceeding the thought above, the footsteps immediately stopped as if they sensed my desire for their company. Then I felt the cold end of a steel barrel press against my upper back between my shoulder blades, the sound of my footsteps also surrendered. I was frozen in my tracks and couldn’t bring myself to turn my head around to meet Gerald’s eyes nor could I muster enough to speak, Gerald must have felt the same, and so we stood silent in the tunnel for what seemed like hours, all the while I knew without a doubt that his index finger was poised gently on the trigger of his gun. Gerald abruptly broke the silence by clearing his throat, waking me from my trance. Then he spoke.
“Donnie, one who holds “sentinalism” to their personal values without regard for truth, is selfish. Justice is a universal virtue held to be synonymous with protecting Truth, and to act accordingly when Truth is endangered or mistreated. For one who renders Justice merely a means for pleasure is the same as one who masturbates their Egoism with a false understanding of Altruism. One such as this can be very aptly classed as selfish.”
The rifle lowered at the end of his sentence and a hand pushed me into motion and we continued our march towards the light at the end of the tunnel.
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